互动学习 马男波杰克第五季第六集中英文稿

所以来的路上我顺道去了玩偶匣

So, I stopped at a Jack in the Box, on the way here,

店里的女服务生对我说

and the girl behind the counter said,

你好呀  你今天是不是过得很棒

"Hiya! Are you having an awesome day?"

不是那种  你今天过得怎么样

Not, "How are you doing today?"

而是充满期待  你今天是不是过得很棒

No. "Are you having an awesome day?"

问得特别的矫情

Which is pretty shitty because

好像我不同意她就是我的责任

it puts the onus on me to disagree with her,

如果我没有过得"棒棒哒"

like if I'm not having an "Awesome day,"

突然间我就充满负能量

Suddenly I'm the negative one.

通常人们问我过得怎么样

Usually, when people ask how I'm doing,

真相是我过得很糟糕

the real answer is I'm doing shitty,

但我不能这么说

but I can't say I'm doing shitty

因为我没有正当的理由过得很糟

because I don't have a good reason to be doing shitty.

如果我说  糟心透了

So if I say, "I'm doing shitty,"

他们就会问  为什么  出什么事了

Then they say, "Why? What's wrong?"

我就得回  不知道  全都不顺心吧

And I have to be like, "I don't know, all of it?"

所以  当人们问我过得怎么样

So instead, when people ask how I'm doing,

我通常都说  过得好极了

I usually say, "I am doing so great."

但当玩偶匣的这个女孩

But when this girl at the Jack in the Box

问我是不是过得很好时

asked me if I was having an awesome day,

我想  今天我可以过得很糟糕

I thought, well, today I'm actually allowed to feel shitty,

因为我有合适的理由

today I have a good reason,

于是我对她说  我妈妈过世了

so I said to her, "Well, my mom died."

然后她突然泪如泉涌

And she immediately burst into tears.

我还得反过来安慰她  真是烦死了

So, now I have to comfort her, which is annoying,

同时  我后面还排着一堆人

and meanwhile, there's a line of people forming behind me,

用批判的目光瞪着我

who are all giving me these real judgy looks

因为我把快餐店的女服务生说哭了

because I made the Jack in the Box girl cry.

她放声大哭  嘴里说着"对不起 对不起"

And she's bawling, and she's saying, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,"

我就安慰  没关系  没关系

and I'm like, "It's fine. It's fine.

我是说  并不是很好  就是没事

I mean, it's not fine, but, you know, it's… fine.

我想点一份双层杰克堡套餐

And I would like to order a Double Jack Meal,

我还得去别的地方

and I've kinda got somewhere to be,

所以能不能擦干泪水  挥洒汗水做汉堡

so maybe less with the crying and more with the frying, huh?"

然后女孩又道了一次歉

And the girl apologizes, again,

她在我的套餐里加了根免费的油条

and she offers me a free churro with my meal.

离开的时候我想  我吃了根免费的油条

And as I'm leaving, I think, "I just got a free churro

就因为我母亲去世了

because my mom died."

没人说过  妈妈过世后可以吃到免费的油条

No one ever tells you when your mom dies, you get a free churro.

总而言之  我很抱歉

Anyway, I'm sorry,

本来没打算  好吧

that's not part of the… All right.

好吧  重新来  正式开始  

Okay, here we go. Let's do this.

马男波杰克正在致悼词  开始吧

Here I am, BoJack Horseman, doing a eulogy, let's go.

钢琴小哥  能不能给我来段管风琴华彩

Hey, piano man, can I get like a, like an organ flourish?

很好  我本来还担心

Nicely done. You know, I was a little worried

今天会没有合适的伴奏

I wouldn't have the right accompaniment today.

我想这就是我母亲作为器官捐献者的好处

I guess it's a good thing my mom was an organ donor!

organ兼有器官和管风琴之意

怎么不是管风琴

What happened to the organ?

把喜剧效果留给专业人士来吧

Why don't you leave the comedy to the professionals?

好吗  这是我母亲的葬礼  先生

Okay? This is a funeral, sir, for my mother.

能否表现出一点尊重

Can you show a little respect?

就这样吧

I'll take it.

马男碧翠斯  她是谁  一生是怎样的 

Beatrice Horseman, who was she? What was her deal?

首先  她是一匹马

Well, she was a horse.

她生于1938年 死于2018年

Uh, she was born in 1938. She died in 2018.

有一次  她去参加了一场游行

One time, she went to a parade,

还有一次  她一口气抽完了一整支烟

and one time, she smoked an entire cigarette in one long inhale.

我亲眼看到的

I watched her do it.

真是个不可思议的女人

Truly a remarkable woman.

这个女人度过了完满的一生

Lived a full life, that lady.

直到人生尽头  大概就是现在吧

Just, all the way to the end, which is, uh, now, I guess.

是不是很引人深思

Really makes you think, though, huh?

这就是人生  

Life, right?

时光匆匆  世事无常  奔向死亡

Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die.

我到点了  你们听得好认真

Well, that's my time, you've been great!

记得给服务员小费

Tip your waitress!

我开玩笑的  这里没有服务员

No, I'm just kidding around, there's no waitress.

但说真的  关于我妈我就说这些

But seriously that's all I have to say about my mother.

没必要说死人的坏话不是吗

No point beating a dead horse, right?

现在怎么办  我不知道  妈你有主意吗

So… Now what? I don't know, Mom, you got any ideas?

有吗

Anything?

Mom?

没有吗

No?

没什么想说的吗

Nothing to contribute?

要是为我骄傲就敲一下棺材板

Knock once if you're proud of me.

我能说  能和我妈共处一室说个不停

Can I just say how amazing it is to be in a room with my mother,

她不会让我闭嘴

and I can just talk without

去给她倒酒  是多幸福的一件事吗

her telling me to shut up and make her a drink?

妈  想让我闭嘴就敲一下棺材板

Hey, Mom. Knock once if you think I should shut up.

不用吗  你确定

No? You sure?

我可不想让你难堪

I mean, I don't want to embarrass you,

这悼词是歌颂你的 不是歌颂我的

by making this eulogy into a me-logy,

所以说真的  如果你想让我坐下

so, seriously, if you wanted me to sit down

让别人来讲话  就敲一下  我不会生气的

and let someone else talk, just knock. I will not be offended.

不用吗  你的葬礼你说了算

No? Your funeral.

话说  抱歉把你棺材盖合上了

Sorry about the closed casket, by the way.

她想要敞着棺材盖的

She wanted an open casket,

不过现在她死了  谁在乎她怎么想

but, you know, she's dead now, so who cares what she wanted?

不  这话可不好听  抱歉

No, that sounds bad. I'm sorry.

我想要是她能看到自己死后的样子

I think that if she could've seen what she looked like dead,

她也会同意这样更好  她死相可糟了

she'd agree it's better this way. She looked like this.

有点像气急败坏的恐龙玩偶

Kinda like a pissed-off toy dinosaur.

入殓师没法让她合上眼睛

The coroner couldn't get her eyes closed.

所以现在她的脸永远都是

So, now her face is forever frozen

一副极度可怕和痛苦的表情

in a mask of tremendous horror and anguish.

或者按我妈的说法  周二的表情

Or as my mom called it, Tuesday!

周二  我妈称之为周二

Tuesday! My mom called it Tuesday.

妈  你觉得这个笑话怎么样  你喜欢吗

Hey, Mom, what did you think of that joke? You like that?

你从来都不在乎我演的喜剧

You never did care for my comedy.

讲个故事

Here's a story.

我十几岁时

When I was a teenager,

我在高中天才秀上表演了一出喜剧

I performed a comedy routine for my high school talent show.

有一件很帅的外套  我很想穿

There was this cool jacket that I wanted to wear

美国演员  编剧  导演

因为穿上它我就像艾伯特·布鲁克斯

because it would make me look like Albert Brooks.

我为那件外套存了几个月的钱

For months, I saved up for this jacket,

但等我终于存够了钱

but when I finally had enough,

我走进商店  那外套却不见了

I went to the store and it was gone.

他们刚刚卖给别人了

They had just sold it to someone else.

然后我回家告诉了我妈

So, I went home and I told my mother.

她说 "算是给你个教训

She said, "Let that be a lesson.

这就是心存期望的下场"

That's the good that comes from wanting things."

她很擅长传授人生哲学

She was really good at dispensing life lessons,

似乎所有的不幸到头来都是我的错

that always seemed to circle back to everything being my fault.

但那之后  在演出那天

But then, on the day of the talent show,

我妈给了我一个惊喜

my mother had a surprise for me.

她给我买了那件外套

She had bought me the jacket.

虽然她不知道如何表达

Even though she didn't know how to say it,

我知道这意味着她爱我

I knew this meant that she loved me.

这才是有关我妈的好故事

Now, that's a good story about my mother.

这不是真的  但是个好故事  不是吗

It's not true, but it's a good story, right?

美国情景喜剧

我从小时候看过的一集《穆德》里抄来的

I stole it from an episode of Maude I saw when I was a kid,

戏里主角在说她爸爸的故事

where she talks about her father.

我还记得我看到这一幕时就想  这才是

I remember when I saw it, thinking that's the kind of story

那种我想在父母葬礼上讲述的故事

I want to tell about my parents when they die.

但我没有这样的故事可讲

But I don't have any stories like that.

所有让我成为一个好人的事

All I know about being good

都是从电视上学来的

I learned from TV.

而在电视上  有缺陷的角色

And in TV, flawed characters

总是用这种惊人的善举

are constantly showing people they care

来告诉别人自己在乎他们

with these surprising grand gestures.

而我觉得我内心中仍然相信这就是爱的真义

And I think that part of me still believes that's what love is.

但在现实生活中  善举远远不够

But in real life, the big gesture isn't enough.

你得从始至终的好  无可置疑的好

You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good.

你不能搞砸了所有事

You can't just screw everything up,

再驾着一条小船出海

and then take a boat out into the ocean

去救你的挚友

to save your best friend,

或是解开一桩谜案  就飞往堪萨斯

or solve a mystery, and fly to Kansas.

你必须时时刻刻都当个好人  这真是太难了

You need to do it every day, which is so… hard.

小时候  你会对自己说

When you're a kid, you convince yourself

或许给你点善举也就够了

that maybe the grand gesture could be enough.

虽然你的父母不是你所希望的样子

That even though your parents aren't what you need them to be,

一次又一次辜负你

over and over and over again,

但偶尔  他们可能也会给你惊喜

at any moment they might surprise you,

让你体会美好的瞬间

with something… wonderful.

我一直在等待这一刻  等某一刻

I kept waiting for that, the proof

来证明  虽然我妈是个铁石心肠的女人

that even though my mother was a hard woman,

但在内心深处  她是爱我  关心我的

deep down, she loved me and cared about me

并且她想让我知道

and wanted me to know

我给她的生活带来了一丝光亮

that I made her life a little bit brighter.

就算是现在  我发现我还是在等

Even now, I find myself waiting.

妈  如果你爱我  关心我  想告诉我

Hey, Mom, knock once if you love me and care about me,

我给你的生活带来了一丝光亮  就敲一下

and want me to know I made your life a little bit brighter.

我妈没有"温顺地走进那良宵"

My mother did not go gentle into that good night.

她死前奋力挣扎  抓挠蹬踹

She went clawing and fighting and thrashing,

所以才一副惨相

hence the face.

如果你见过她的死相

If you'd seen her,

我对天发誓  现在你们唯一会想的

I swear to God the only thing you'd be thinking about right now

就是我的形容真是贴切之至

is that I am nailing this impression.

在生命的最后时日  我在医院里陪她

I was in the hospital with her those last moments,

那段时间真是让人毛骨悚然

and they were truly horrifying,

充满了荒谬的尖叫和呐喊

full of nonsensical screams and cries,

但有那么一刻  很奇怪  她平静了好一会

but there was this moment, this one instant of strange calm,

她望向我所在的方向说 "我看到你了"

where she looked in my direction and said, "I see you."

这是她对我说的最后一句话

That's the last thing she said to me.

"我看到你了"

"I see you."

不是什么批判或者不满

Not a statement of judgment or disappointment,

只是简单地接受和承认 

just acceptance and the simple recognition

屋子里有另一个人

of another person in a room.

"你好 你是个人 我看到你了"

"Hello, there. You are a person. And I see you."

我告诉你们

Let me tell you,

54岁时才感到这辈子第一次

it's a weird thing to feel at 54 years old,

你妈终于正视你了  这真的很奇怪

that for the first time in your life your mother sees you.

奇怪的是你意识到原来这就是你一直所缺少的

It's an odd realization that it's the thing you've been missing,

一直以来你想要只是被看见

the only thing you wanted all along, to be seen.

而最后你被看见了  并没有感觉解脱

And it doesn't feel like a relief, to finally be seen.

而是感觉很糟糕

It feels mean, like,

"原来你早就知道我想要什么

"Oh, it turns out that you knew what I wanted,

而你却等到最后一刻才给我"

and you waited until the very last moment to give it to me."

我本已准备好接受更残忍的事实

I was prepared for more cruelty.

我原想着她一定会最后数落我一番

I was sure that she would get in one final zinger,

说我如何让她失望  我又肥又蠢

about how I let her down, and about how I was fat and stupid,

个子太高跳不了林迪舞

and too tall to be an effective Lindy-hopper.

我太粘人  是个负担  让她难堪

How I was needy and a burden and an embarrassment.

我本准备好任她奚落

All that I was ready for.

我没准备好听她说"我看见你了"

I was not ready for "I see you."

只有我妈会这么差劲  在临死前

Only my mother would be lousy enough to swipe me

用一瞬的温情来摧毁我

with a moment of connection on her way out.

或许是我把她说得太好了

But maybe I'm giving her too much credit.

或许这和温情无关

Maybe it wasn't about connection.

或许这只是  或许这句"我看见你了"

Maybe it was a… Maybe it was an "I see you,"

是说"被我发现了"

Like, "I see you."

就像是"或许你能骗得了全世界

Like, "You might have the rest of the world fooled,

但我很清楚你是什么样的人"

but I know exactly who you are."

这才是我妈的作风

That's more my mom's speed.

又或许她的意思就是"我看见你了

Or maybe she just literally meant "I see you.

你是一个进入了我的视野的东西"

You are an object that has entered my field of vision."

她最后已经神志不清了  所以或许

She was out of it at the end, so maybe it's dumb

不该试图解读她的意图

to try to attribute it to anything.

回想九十年代

Back in the 90s,

我参演了一部非常火的电视剧《胡闹的小马》

I was in a very famous TV Show called Horsin' Around.

请不要鼓掌

Please hold your applause.

我记得有一次  一个粉丝问我

And I remember one time, a fan asked me,

"你记得有一集

"Hey, um, you know that episode

伊桑发现他暗恋的人邀请他跳舞

where the horse has to give Ethan a pep talk,

只是因为她和朋友在进行很蠢的约会比赛

after Ethan finds out his crush only asked him to the dance

所以小马不得不鼓励伊桑吗

because her friends were having a dorkiest date contest?

小马所有的镜头中

In all the shots of the horse,

你都能在厨房的柜台上看见一个纸咖啡杯

you can see a paper coffee cup on the kitchen counter,

但是在伊桑的镜头中  咖啡杯不见了

but in the shots of Ethan, the coffee cup's missing.

那是不是因为那部剧想表达一种观点

Was that because the show was making a statement,

主观记忆是波动的

about the fluctuant subjectivity of memory

以及两个人对同一时刻居然可以

and how even two people can experience the same moment

有两种完全不同的感受

in entirely different ways?

我不忍心说出口

And I didn't have the heart to be, like,

"不是的 

"No, man,

那是某个工作人员把自己的咖啡杯落在片场了"

some crew guy just left their coffee cup in the shot."

所以我说"是吧"

So instead, I was, like… "Yeah."

或许这就像那个咖啡杯

And maybe this is like that coffee cup.

或许试图给每件小事

Maybe, we're dumb to try

都冠以一个冠冕堂皇的意义很愚蠢

to pin significance onto every little thing.

或许当有人说

Maybe, when someone says,

"我看见你了" 只是"看见你了"的意思

"I see you," it just means, "I see you."

再说了  很有可能她都不是在跟我说话

Then again, it's possible she wasn't even talking to me.

因为  老实说  那时她并没有看着我

Because, if I'm being honest, she wasn't really looking at me,

她在看着我身后的某处  房间里没有别人了

she was looking past me. There was nobody else in the room.

我觉得她在跟我说话  但其实

I think she was talking to me, but, honestly,

她那时已经进入弥留之际  谁知道她看什么

she was so far gone at that point, who knows what she was seeing.

你在跟谁说话  妈

Who were you talking to, Mom?

不说话吗  继续保持沉默。妈?

Not saying, huh? Staying mum?

此处没有击鼓吗

No rimshot there?

天  不管我付了你多少钱  都太多了

God, whatever I'm paying you, it's too much.

或许  她看见了我爸

Maybe, she saw my dad.

我爸大约十年前过的世

My dad died about ten years ago

因为他在决斗中受了伤

of injuries he sustained during a duel.

当你的父亲过世时  你会问自己很多问题

When your father dies, you ask yourself a lot of questions.

比如 "等下 你是说他死于决斗"

Questions like, "Wait, did you say he died in a duel?"

"谁会死于决斗"

and "Who dies in a duel?"

整件事都太蠢了

The whole thing was so stupid.

我爸一生都在写书

Dad spent his entire life writing this book,

但没有一家店卖这本书

but he couldn't get any stores to carry it,

也没有一张报纸评价了这本书

or any newspapers to review it.

终于有了一家报社

Finally, I guess this one

我猜他们是觉得他很搞笑

newspaper thought he was pretty hilarious,

因为他们写了一篇评  彻底打垮了他

because they ran a review and tore him to shreds.

所以  我的父亲  曾经的骄傲玛丽

So, my father, ever the Proud Mary,

决定再也不能忍受对他名誉的如此诋毁

decided he would not stand for this besmirchment of his honor.

他声称这名评

He claimed the critic

不明白作为男人的意义

didn't understand what it meant to be a man,

所以他要求在凌晨手枪决斗来解决

so he demanded satisfaction in the form of pistols at dawn.

他给这家报社写下了一封信

He wrote the paper, this letter,

说任何不喜欢他的书的人

saying anyone who didn't like his book,

他要与其决斗  所有人

he would challenge to a duel, anyone in the world.

他甚至愿意支付

He'd even pay for airfare

来旧金山的机票和酒店住宿一晚的费用

to San Francisco and a night in a hotel.

最后这愿望在一些蒙大拿的疯子身上实现了

Well, eventually this found its way to some kook in Montana,

这些人和他一样疯  接受了他的决斗之请

who was as batshit as he was and took him up on the offer.

他们在金门公园碰面并达成一致  

They met at Golden Gate Park and agreed:

数到十然后开枪

ten paces, then shoot.

但在数数的过程中

But in the middle of the ten paces,

爸爸转过身问那个人

Dad turned to ask the guy if

他有没有真的看过这本书和他的观点

he'd actually read the book and what he thought,

但他没看路

but, not looking where he was going,

被一根暴露在外的树根绊倒  头撞上了一块石头

tripped over an exposed root and bashed his head on a rock.

真希望我那时知道去玩偶匣

I wish I'd known to go to Jack in the Box then.

也许能得到一根免费油条

Maybe I could have gotten a free churro.

也算是作为巴特斯科齐·马男的儿子

It would've been nice to have something to show

能拿出来吹嘘的事迹了

for being the son of Butterscotch Horseman.

我亲爱的母亲发表了悼词

My darling mother gave the eulogy.

我这辈子都没听她说过

My entire life I never heard

我父亲半点好话

her say a kind word to or about my father,

但在葬礼上她说

but at his funeral she said,

"我的丈夫去世了 现在所有事都更糟了"

"My husband is dead, and everything is worse now."

"我的丈夫去世了 现在所有事都更糟了"

"My husband is dead, and everything is worse now."

我不知道她为什么这么说

I don't know why she said that.

或许她觉得葬礼上

Maybe she felt that's the kind of thing

应该这么说

you're supposed to say at a funeral.

或许她希望某天有人也会这样评价她

Maybe she hoped one day someone would say that about her.

"我母亲去世了 现在所有事都更糟了"

"My mother is dead, and everything is worse now."

又或许她已经知道了他把所有

Or maybe she knew that he had frittered away

她的遗产都挥霍光了  只留给她沉重的债务

all her inheritance, and replaced it with crippling debt,

给自己的遗孀留下这些真的是很渣

which is a pretty shitty thing to leave your widow with.

"坏消息 你失去了丈夫

"Bad news, you lost a husband,

不过别担心  你的房子也没了"

but don't worry, you also lost the house!"

或许妈妈已经知道她得变卖所有高级珠宝

Maybe Mom knew she'd have to sell all her fancy jewelry

搬到一个普通房子中去

and move into a home.

或许她说"所有事都更糟了"是这个意思

Maybe that's what she meant by "Everything is worse."

你是这个意思吗  妈

Is that what you meant, Mom?

不得不说  我这双簧唱得真是太棒了

I gotta say, I'm really carrying this double act.

美国超红魔术节目主持人

至少佩恩与特勒这一对

At least with Penn and Teller,

不说话的那个还要变纸牌魔术

the quiet one does card tricks.

弹琴的  我跟我妈讲笑话时

Hey, piano man, when I say something funny to my mom,

你给我来两声鼓点怎么样

how about you give me one of those rimshot?

对  但现在别敲

Yeah, but not now.

等我讲笑话时再敲  比如

When I say something funny. Like, okay.

我妈和细菌的破坏性驱

What's the difference between my mother

有什么区别

and a disruptive expulsion of germs?

一个引起咳嗽  一个躺进棺材[音似]

One's a coughin' fit and the other fits a coffin!

这样才叫讲笑话

That's an example of a funny thing.

谢谢  咱们再试一次

Thank you. Let's try again.

妈  我妈和一堆

Hey, Mom. What's the difference

复活节彩蛋有什么区别

between my mother and a bunch of Easter eggs?

一个装进小篮子  另一个埋进小匣子

One gets carried in a basket, the other gets buried in a casket!

还想再听一个吗  最后一个

Ready for one more? Last one.

文学院一年级生和我妈马男碧翠斯

What's the difference between a first-year lit major

有什么区别呢

and my mother, Beatrice Horseman?

一个饱读诗书  另一个就是个贱人大混蛋

One is decently read, and the other's a huge bitch!

这个笑话可能开的有点过了

Might have gone a little too far with that one.

对在座各位来说

That one might have been a

说"我妈是个贱人大混蛋"有点过分了

little too "My mom's a huge bitch" for the room.

抱歉  妈妈  你不是个大混蛋

I'm sorry, Mother. You're not a huge bitch.

你生前是个贱人大混蛋现在你死了

You were a huge bitch… and now you're dead.

跟你们说  我第一次

You know, the first time

在观众面前进行表演

I ever performed in front of an audience,

其实是和我妈一起的

it actually was, uh, with my mom.

她从前总会进行演出

She used to put on these shows,

就在她在客厅举办的晚餐舞会上

with her supper club in the living room,

她会让我…

and she used to make…

她会让我唱《棒棒糖之歌》

She used to make me sing "The Lollipop Song."

那些派对真是豪华

Those parties, they were really something.

会演滑稽短剧  有魔术表演

There were skits and magic acts,

还有不涉种族问题的歌舞杂耍

and ethnically insensitive vaudeville routines,

而最后总是以我妈的一舞收尾

and the big finale was always a dance my mother did.

她有一条漂亮的裙子

She had this beautiful dress

她只在这些派对上穿出来

that she only brought out for these parties,

她跳过很多次

and she did this incredible number.

这真是又漂亮又悲哀

It was so beautiful and sad.

爸爸讨厌派对  他会把自己锁在书房

Dad hated the parties. He'd lock himself in the study,

邦邦锤墙好让我们小点声

and bang on the walls for us to keep it down,

但他总会出来看妈妈跳舞

but he always came out to see Mom dance.

他会站在门口  手握苏格兰威士忌

He'd linger in the doorway, scotch in hand,用惊讶的目光看着他娶的这个

and watch in awe, as this cynical,

愤世嫉俗  卑劣不堪的女人翩然起舞

despicable woman he married… took flight.

作为一个被我爸妈吓坏了的小孩

And as a child who was completely terrified of both my parents,

这一刻在我心中的感觉却是那么美好

I was always aware that this moment of grace,

此中定有深意

it meant something.

某种程度上  我们是互相理解的

We understood each other, in a way.

我和我妈还有我爸  我们虽然都悲惨不堪

Me and my mom and my dad, as screwed up as we all were,

但确实都相互理解

we did understand each other.

我妈妈非常明白她的整个人生仿佛就像

My mother, she knew what it's like to feel your entire life

水慢慢没过头顶般溺水  但这些时刻是例外

like you're drowning with the exception of these moments,

这些非常稀少  短暂的瞬间

these very rare, brief instances,

此时你突然记起  你是会游泳的

in which you suddenly remember… you can swim.

但是我再次强调  大多数时候不是

But, then again, mostly not.

大多数时候都是溺水状态

Mostly you're drowning.

她也明白这点

She understood that too.

她也知道我和爸爸也明白这点

And she recognized that I understood it. And Dad.

我们三人都淹在水里

All three of us were drowning,

我们不知道如何拯救对方

and we didn't know how to save each other,

但我们都明白

but there was an understanding

我们要一起溺水而亡

that we were all drowning together.

在医院里她说"我看到你了"时

I would like to think that's what she meant

我想这就是她想表达的意思

when we were in the hospital and she said, "I see you."

奇怪的是  当你父母皆亡时

The weird thing about both your parents being dead

这意味着下一个死的就是你了

is it means that you're next.

我是说

I mean, you know,

当然并不是说死亡还有排队叫号的

obviously it's not like there's a wait list for dying.

任何时候  我们谁都有可能

Any one of us could get run over

让一个正自拍的青少年开车撞死

by a Snapchatting teen at any moment.

你们以为明了这一点

And you would think that

会让自己显得更具冒险精神

knowing that would make us more adventurous,

更加和善宽容

and kind, and forgiving.

但这让我们变得渺小愚蠢  微不足道

But it makes us small, and stupid, and petty.

其实我最近就有一次濒死经历

I actually had a near-death experience, recently.

做特技失败了  我摔下了楼顶

A stunt went bad and I fell off a building.

我是个演员  亲自上阵演特效

I'm an actor. I do my own stunts.

我出演新剧《菲尔伯特》  

I'm on this new show Philbert.

我演菲尔伯特  本剧主演

I'm Philbert. Star of the show.

剧还没播出  但艾美奖已经频频来电了

It hasn't come out yet, but it's already getting Emmy buzz.

说到这个

Oh, speaking of buzz…

我应该每天早晨吃两片这药

I'm supposed to take two of these every morning,

但我的日子因为拍摄日程搞得一团糟

but my days are so screwed up 'cause of the shooting schedule,

我连早晨是什么意思都不知道了

I don't even know what morning means anymore.

我这段话里埋了个笑话的

There's a joke in there somewhere,

说的是一个人出席了太多次葬礼

about a guy who's been to so many funerals,

早晨和哀悼音似

最后连哀悼是什么意思都不知道了

he doesn't even know what mourning means anymore.

你们自己想笑点在哪儿吧

Let you guys figure that one out for yourselves.

总之  你们知道我摔下大楼

Anyway, you know what I thought…

进入恐慌模式时  我是怎么想的吗

when I was falling off the building and I went into panic mode?

我愚蠢的大脑

The last thing that my

在死前想到的最后一件事是什么

stupid brain could come up with before I died?

他们不会难过吗

"Won't they be sorry."

想得漂亮  大脑

Cool thought, brain.

不 这个不是…

No, that wasn't…

你能不能…重来好吗

Would you just… Dial it back, all right?

我都不知道我希望会难过的"他们"都是谁

I don't even know what "They" I wanted to be sorry.

我妈在死之前几乎都记不得我是谁

My mom, even before she died, could barely remember who I was.

而且当然  我爸已经死了

And of course, my dad's dead.

我和他最后一次说话谈的是他的小说

The last conversation I ever had with him was about his novel.

他当时那么坚信  这本书会成就他的传奇

He was so certain this book was his legacy.

或许他以为这本书能证明

Maybe he thought it would vindicate him

他在这毫无价值的愚蠢一生里

for all the shitty things

做过的所有破事都是对的

he ever did in his stupid worthless life.

或许是吧  我也不知道  我从没读过

Maybe it did. I don't know. I never read it.

我为什么要让他如愿呢

Because why would I give him that?

我曾出演过一部叫《胡闹的小马》的剧

I used to be on this TV show called Horsin' Around.

说真的  先忍着别鼓掌

Seriously, hold your applause.

忍得真好

Well held.

剧本是我朋友赫比·哈萨克写的 他也死了

It was written by my friend Herb Kazzaz, who's also dead now,

剧中女主的扮演者名叫萨拉·琳

and it starred this little girl named Sarah Lynn.

电视剧讲的是孤儿的事

And it was about these orphans.

一开始时  网上有条建议

And early on, the network had a note,

"或许别总提起他们是孤儿的事

"Maybe don't mention they're orphans so much,

因为观众会觉得孤儿很可怜  没有共鸣"

because audiences tend to find orphans sad and not relatable."

但我从来没觉得那些孤儿很可怜

I never thought the orphans were sad.

我一直觉得他们很幸运

I always thought they were lucky

因为他们可以随意想象

because they could imagine

自己的父母是自己想要的样子

their parents to be anything they wanted.

他们有期盼

They had something to long for.

不管怎么样  我们拍一集季终集时

Anyway, we did this one season finale,

是讲奥利维亚的生母回到镇上

where Olivia's birth mother comes to town.

她是个瘾君子  但是戒干净了

And she was a junkie, but she's gotten herself cleaned up,

她想重新回到奥利维亚的身边

and she wants to be in Olivia's life again.

当然了  她就像奥利维亚长大后的完美复刻

And of course, she's like a perfect grown-up version of Olivia,

她们一起去商场

and they go to the mall together

一起打耳洞  就像她一直想要的那样

and get her ears pierced, like she's always wanted and–

抱歉  如果你还在奇怪我说的是什么剧

Sorry, spoiler alert for the season six finale of Horsin' Around,

《快乐的小马》第六季季终剧透预警

if you're still working your way through it.

然后小马想提醒她 "小心点

Anyway, the horse tries to warn her, "Be careful,

妈妈总会让你失望"

moms have a way of letting you down."

但是奥利维亚认为小马只是在嫉妒

But Olivia just thinks the horse is jealous,

然后当妈妈说她要搬到加州去后

and when the mom says she's moving to California,

奥利维亚决定和她一起走

Olivia decides to go with her.

然后电视台简直给大家吊足了胃口

And the network really juiced the cliffhanger:

"奥利维亚永远离开了吗"

''Is Olivia gone for good?''

但当然了  这是电视剧  她不会永远离开

But of course, because it's a TV show, she was not gone for good.

当然了  这是电视剧

Of course, because it's a TV show,

奥利维亚的妈妈复吸  回到了戒毒所

Olivia's mother had a relapse and had to go back to rehab,

于是奥利维亚只能一路搭车回家

so Olivia had to hitchhike all the way home,

一路遇见了T先生 埃尔夫和斯坦普的人

getting rides from Mr. T, Alf, and the cast of Stomp.

当然会这样了

Of course that's what happened.

因为你还能怎么办  把奥利维亚砍掉吗

Because, what are you gonna do, just not have Olivia on the show?

情景喜剧不会有圆满大结局 不会的

You can't have happy endings in sitcoms, not really,

因为如果大家都很开心  那剧就结束了

because, if everyone's happy, the show would be over,

不管怎么样  剧…得继续拍

and above all else, the show… has to keep going.

永远有更多集

There's always more show.

你可以说《快乐的小马》蠢  烂或者不现实

And you can call Horsin' Around dumb, or bad, or unrealistic,

但这才是最现实的情况

but there is nothing more realistic than that.

你不会看到圆满结局 因为永远有更多集

You never get a happy ending, 'cause there's always more show.

可能直到最终没有了吧

I guess until there isn't.

我妈妈要是知道我在她的葬礼上

My mom would hate it if she knew

花了这么多时间说我原来拍的电视剧

that I spent so much time at her funeral

肯定会气死的

talking about my old TV show.

也可能她会觉得她唯一的儿子连这都做不好

Or maybe she'd think it was funny that her idiot son

简直是太可笑了  谁知道呢

couldn't even do this right. Who knows?

她没知会过我她希望我说些什么

She left no instructions for what she wanted me to say.

我只知道她想要开棺

All I know is she wanted an open casket,

她的蠢儿子连这都办不好

and her idiot son couldn't even do that right.

我不会站在这里假装

I'm not gonna stand up here and pretend

我知道该怎么取悦这女人

I even understood how to please that woman,

即便我人生中的很多时间

even though so much of my life

都浪费在对此的思考之上

has been wasted in vain attempts to figure it out.

但我一直回想起在重症监护室里

But I keep going back to that moment in the ICU

她看着我  然后说

when she looked at me, and…

"ICU"[缩写 音同我看到你了]

"I-c-u."

"我看到你了"

"I… see… you."

上帝啊  我们当时在重症监护室

Jesus Christ, we were in the intensive care unit.

她只是在念指示牌

She was just reading a sign.

我妈妈死了  而我只有这根免费的油条

My mom died and all I got was this free churro.

你们知道最糟心的是什么吗

You know the shittiest thing about all of this?

当柜台后的那个陌生人给我免费油条时

Is when that stranger behind the counter gave me that free churro,

这小小的善意之举中所流露出的同情

that small act of kindness showed more compassion

比我妈妈这辈子给予我的都要多

than my mother gave me her entire goddamn life.

好好对一个人能有多难

Like, how hard is it to do something nice for a person?

玩偶匣的那个女人甚至都不认识我

This woman at the Jack in the Box didn't even know me.

我是你的儿子啊

I'm your son.

我只有你啊

All I had was you!

我有一个朋友

I have this friend.

我初见她时

And right around when I first met her,

她父亲死了  我陪她去了葬礼

her dad died, and I actually went with her to the funeral.

几个月后  她告诉我她不明白为什么自己

And months later, she told me that she didn't understand

还是很难过  因为她从来就不喜欢她父亲

why she was still upset, because she never even liked her father.

我觉得很合理

It made sense to me,

因为我父亲死后我也经历过这样的阶段

because I went through the same thing when my dad died.

现在我又在经历这样的事

And I'm going through the same thing now.

你知道这是种怎样的感觉吗

You know what it's like?

就像那部《贝克》  泰德·丹森演的

It's like that show Becker, you know, with Ted Danson?

我整部剧都看了下来

I watched the entire run of that show,

希望剧情能变好  但却一直没有

hoping that it would get better, and it never did.

明明拥有各种天时地利

It had all the right pieces,

但就是…就是没办法结合起来

but it just– It couldn't put them together.

这部剧被砍后

And when it got canceled,

我真的很难过  不是因为我喜欢那部剧

I was really bummed out, not because I liked the show,

而是因为我知道明明能拍得更好

but because I knew it could be so much better,

而现在没有机会了

and now it never would be.

这就是失去父母时的感觉

And that's what losing a parent is like.

就像《贝克》

It's like Becker.

突然间  你意识到

Suddenly, you realize

你再也不会拥有你想要的和谐关系了

you'll never have the good relationship you wanted,

本来只要他们还活着  就算你从来不会承认

and as long as they were alive, even though you'd never admit it,

你内心中总有那么愚蠢的一部分

part of you, the stupidest goddamn part of you,

依然抱着这种奢望

was still holding on to that chance.

等到这种奢望彻底化为乌有  你才意识到

And you didn't even realize it until that chance went away.

“我妈妈去世了 现在所有事都更糟了"

"My mother is dead, and everything is worse now."

因为现在我知道永远不会再有一个妈妈

Because now I know I will never have a mother

从房间那头看着我 说

who looks at me from across a room and says,

"马男波杰克 我看到你了"

"BoJack Horseman, I see you."

但我想知道了也好

But I guess it's good to know.

知道没有人会照顾着我也好

It's good to know that there is nobody looking out for me,

从来没有过  也永远不会有

that there never was, and there never will be.

不  知道我只能

No, it's good to know

依靠我自己也好

that I am the only one that I can depend on.

我现在知道了  很好  我知道了也好

And I know that now and it's good. It's good that I know that.

所以…我妈妈去世了也好

So… it's good my mother is dead.

废话多说[打死马]也没用

Well. No point beating a dead horse.

马男碧翠斯生于1938年

Beatrice Horseman was born in 1938,

死于2018年 我不知道…她想要什么

and she died in 2018, and I have no idea… what she wanted.

除非她想要的和我们都一样

Unless she just wanted what we all want…

被人看到

to be seen.

这里是殡仪馆B馆吗

Is this Funeral Parlor B?

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